in war
by Roses of Sharon
Summary: In war, heroes outnumber soldiers ten to one. Sakucentric. SasuSakuish.


In war, they tell her, the heroes outnumber the soldiers ten to one

Summary: In war, the heroes outnumber the soldiers ten to one. Sakucentric, SasuSakuish.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

in war

_In war_, they told her, _the heroes outnumber the soldiers ten to one_.

She wondered what they mean at the time - a little pink-haired girl, delicate in her white socks and Mary Janes and matching outfits, hair clips in her hair. The words meant nothing to her, just an admission of her acceptance into the Shinobi Academy, a culmination of her lifelong dream. It meant nothing that her life has only barely begun.

She was young, then, young and untried and she hated it. Because someday she would be a hero, a real kunoichi, and then the she would have lots of friends and no one would laugh at her and Sasuke-kun would maybe look at her, maybe _smile_.

_--_

_In war_, they tell her, _the heroes outnumber the soldiers ten to one_.

She sees it then, sees through the lies and the fairytales and the stories, sees the wounded man behind the hero, sees the broken woman behind the spy. It hurts, but that is her job, isn't it? Hurting. Hurting others and hurting herself and never blinking, never looking back. It was her decision, she tells herself fiercely. Who could have thought it would lead to such heartbreak? _Heroes_, they call us, she says, bitterly. _Heroes. _

What is a hero, to her? What is a hero, when her friends lie dead and bleeding and dying, when the lover is dead and her brother destroyed and her father absent even as he stands before her? What could it possibly mean to her, when she has given everything for the cause, the war that never ends?

_--_

_In war_, they will tell her, _the heroes outnumber the soldiers ten to one_.

And this is true, she will pledge, fiercely. This is true, because what man has she ever met on the battlefield who is not a hero? What man not willing to die for his friends, his country, his family? There is no man on that battlefield who is not a hero. She will swear by her friends, by her loves, by the names that she has memorized, carved into the memorial stone. Because they will be all she has left. And they will be everything - and it will be enough.

Partly, it will be because she _must _accept it as enough; partly, it is because she will finally understand. She will finally understand what they understood, the moment they chose to die for her, for Konoha, for a cause and a goal and a reason. She will understand that they _believed_, that they were the True Believers, no matter how they acted or what people thought of them. She will understand that they saw everything that Konoha was, the good and bad and the evil, and acknowledged it all, and loved it all. She will understand, and it will be enough.

_Heroing_ is one of the shortest-lived professions there is, but she will understand then that it is worth it. It is worth not being able to watch your children grow up, not watch your teammates grow old. It will be worth not being able to watch your friends die of old age and disease, not walking slowly with them in the park on your old legs, crippled from arthritis.

_--_

_In war_, she tells them, _the heroes outnumber the soldiers ten to one_. They do not understand, not yet, but one day, if they are fortunate, they will. It will take pain and heartache and heartbreak, but when they understand, it will mean everything. It will mean that their best friends did not die in vain, that their teammates did not sacrifice themselves for nothing. It will mean that it was worth something, what they did, the people they killed, the lives they took. It will mean more than an idea and a thought and a dream, it will mean a _people_.

It will mean everything.

She smiles at the child in front of her - some snot-nosed kid who only wants to be a hero, only wants to have his name sung in songs and read in textbooks - and prays that he will understand.

It will mean the world to him.

It will probably save him.


End file.
